A Follow-Up Letter To The Dark Soul That Is My Alternate Self

{Read original "Alternate Self" post before reading this one!}

In the days following the initial shock of You, there were some developments I thought You should be made aware of. First, I wrote a blog entry about you. Second, there was an overwhelming reaction amongst my friends and family regarding the contents of said blog. Apparently harsh self-laceration strikes a chord with people.
Silly me, I thought You and I were over. But no, this is not dead. Not yet.
It is for the concerned friends and family that I write this. This is for the ones who pleadingly said to me, "Emily she has to be unhappy" and "I bet her soul is dark. I bet it's black like OIL." Thanks to every one for caring about my mental health and my tendency to self-deprecate even while thinking I am the Queen of the world. I am tempted to here list the reasons why I am, in fact, winner of the Best Emily S----- contest and, therefore, better. But I'll only give one for now. My mom works with autistic children. Your parent works to destroy the world in the most corrupt and deadly industry ever seen. So, have fun with your blood money.
OK, that was harsh.
Moving on, I am going to get after-school special on your ass. It seems to me that the the real reason so many people responded to the original letter is because every one has their own "alternate self." They don't necessarily have the same name, but it is someone they feel they are in direct competition with. These alternate selves can be like ourselves in so many ways, but they have an unearned leg up on us. Then we get in self-pity about it and grumble things under our breath like: "silver spoon," "kiss ass," and "lucky."
I say, embrace your alternate self. They will challenge you to do better. Or they will force you into debilitating self-pity where your only motivation to get out of bed is to get to your computer, where you write a blog.